Thursday Movie Quiz: Movie Mash-Ups, Mackenzie's Favorites, and More!

What Am I Working On? Wednesday, April 29th 2020: AUTHORTUBE

What Am I Working On? Wednesday, April 22 2020 AUTHORTUBE

Wade's Dictionary: a cheval, a deux, and a fortiori (walk into a bar)

A CHEVAL: (Adjective / Adverb) 

My guess: This is a fancy French way of asking for a shovel. As in: Ho, ho, ho, hand me a cheval zo I can deeg zis hole.

Actual Meaning:  having a leg on each side of something, or being on both sides. This is how I am at family reunions when I casually bring up politics to see which uncle will throw the first punch. 

This is also how I gamble at roulette, betting one dollar on both red and black, thereby guaranteeing the little ball will land on zero. 

Origin: “Cheval” is French for horse. So, while in France, you can ride a cheval a cheval. 

A DEUX: ( Adjective / Adverb) 

My Guess: What a French musician says before playing: 

“A un and a deux and a -- *plays crazy French jazz*” 

Actual Meaning: involving two people in private

Example: “If that dude is a douche don’t meet with him a deux.” 

A FORTIORI: (Adjective / Adverb)

My Guess: A really, really cool tree fort. Like, the Ferrari of all forts. A Fortiori. 

Actual Meaning: Legal Latin stuff that basically translates into “from the stronger argument.” 

Example: 

“At the age of nine, Sam is still a child. A fortiori, Fred, being eight years old, is also a child.”

Does that make sense? 

Well, it’s wrong! Fred’s a middle-aged golden retriever entering his golden years, and you dead language-Latin-logisticians dare to assume he is a child???

Wade's Dictionary: a capella

A CAPELLA: (Adjective) used to describe singers so in love with their own voice that they don't want any music to accompany them.

Origin: This type of singing was developed directly after the invention of showers.

Etymology: Some believe that "a capella" means "in the manner of chapel music." However, in truth, something similar was first said by an opera singer when the orchestra suddenly stopped playing:

"Ah crapella! What-a happened to the music-a?!" The word eventually became the less profane "a capella" we know and tolerate today.

Side Note: A group of a capella singers in called a "bernard."

Example: Plug your ears; here comes a bernard! 

Lexicographer's Note: 

Why does this word get to be on the first page of the dictionary? Why does it get to be listed before "aardvark"? The audacity! Just becvause there's the letter "a" and a space??? Why is it even one-word? As far as I'm concerned if you got a space between the letters then you're two words, "a capella"! Stop trying to cut in line, you perfect-pitched crooner! 

No Social Distancing for Space Invaders

Wade's Dictionary -- The First Entry

It's official! I've gone bonkers. Since we’re self-isolating due to the Coronavirus, I have decided to pass some of the time by writing my own Dictionary. I guess that would make me a lexicographer.

Samuel Johnson, who took nine years to write the English dictionary, defined a lexicographer as: “a writer of dictionaries; a harmless drudge.”

Let the drudgery begin!

A: Oh crap. This is going to be harder than I thought. How does one define A?

The grade for which every student strives. Except when English majors are in math or science class. Then they’ll be happy with a C.

There, that wasn’t so bad.

But it’s also…

2) A: an article -- it’s that little word before a noun. Darn it. I just said “a” noun. You can’t use the word to define the word! Come on, Wade! You can do better than this.

Hmmm… “A” all by itself is hard to explain. It’s like you are saying “one” -- but maybe not. If a homeless person comes up to me and asks, “Do you have a dollar?” but I have two dollars in my pocket, is the correct and honest answer “No?” (I’m going to say “No” regardless, but I’m just trying to figure this “a” word out.)

The word “a” also gives a clue to the person listening. If I ask you, “Are you a human or an evil alien?” And you start to respond: “I am a...:” I already know you’re going to say human, because that A sound means the next word is going to be a consonant instead of a vowel.

If you say, “I am an…” Then I know you’re about to reveal your evil alien ways and I can get a running start before you blast me with a laser gun. (Of course, maybe you were going to say you were “an especially kind-hearted alien,” and now I’m running away from you like the cowardly xenophobe I am.)

Is that good enough for our first definition? You try defining this first little word, and you’ll see how hard it is! Strangely enough, if you add more As to the word A it gets easy to define.

AA: Alcoholics Anonymous

AAA: The American Autoclub Association

AAAA: Hmmm... maybe this is the Asian American Autoclub Association?

AAAAA: A term of satisfaction delivered by the Fonz.

AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa: The sound one makes when falling off a cliff. (The number of As determines the cliff’s height. Each upper case A is “10” yards, each lower case “a” is five feet, which means the person who screamed this fell exactly… Actually, I have no idea. I got a C in math.)

How Much Money Can I Make as an Author? AUTHORTUBE

Castle Writemore: Adjectives

With special guest: Hawkeye the Dog!

Critical Theories in Literature

Howdy... I just wanted to make a blog post that contains a handy list of various critical theories, as described by the good folks at Purdue University...



Feminist Criticism

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/writing_in_literature/literary_theory_and_schools_of_criticism/feminist_criticism.html

Psychoanalytic Criticism

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/writing_in_literature/literary_theory_and_schools_of_criticism/psychoanalytic_criticism.html


Marxist Criticism

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/writing_in_literature/literary_theory_and_schools_of_criticism/marxist_criticism.html


Post-Colonial Criticism

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/writing_in_literature/literary_theory_and_schools_of_criticism/post_colonial_criticism.html


Gender Studies / Queer Theory

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/writing_in_literature/literary_theory_and_schools_of_criticism/gender_studies_and_queer_theory.html


Ecocriticism

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/writing_in_literature/literary_theory_and_schools_of_criticism/ecocriticism.html

Working Through the Quarantine

Wow -- these weeks have been strange. I probably should have tried to chronicle them better in writing... and I should have been using this blog more...

But for the most part these days in "self-isolation" aren't that different from long stretches of my summer vacation, in which there's not too much on each day's agenda, and I working on writing projects.

The main difference is the prevailing sense of doom and death from the outside world -- and perhaps more to the point -- from the media.

Of course, I don't have oodles of free time. I'm still teaching my classes. I'm just not in class. The second half of the semester moved online. I'm doing my best to keep it interesting, but I know most of the students are disappointed. I know I am. I miss those guys!

I've been making a lot of YouTube videos... I'm still waiting to find an audience... and still experimenting with the content I want to produce, or at least that I'm good at producing.

I keep thinking about working on some kind of memoir project. But my life isn't that exciting, so I'm not sure if it's just me wanting to navel gaze. No, actually, I'm sure that's what it is. There are so many things that I've tinkered with, part of me wants to stop making new things and just do a retrospective of all the little quirky things I've worked on during the last four decades.

But then another part of me says, "Hey Wade, shouldn't you be working on something new? Something good? Something that approaches excellence? There's not that much time left."

Of course, all this angst is so inconsequential to everything else going on in the world. It does keep me distracted, though, and I appreciate the distraction.

The Bradford family is alive and well. My youngest daughter is still in her dorm at college, but should be coming home in just two weeks. My wife is still working as a health coach. My eldest daughter is working online. She's teaching online -- but doing it in a way that is far more spectacular than I could ever endeavor.

Whoever may be reading this, I hope you are well and that you are safe.

Take care. 

Your Minute of Zen: April 10th, 2020

What Am I Working On: Wednesday, April 8th

Castle Writemore: Write Your Own Rules

Castle Writemore: List Your Favorite Foods