Wade's Dictionary: a cheval, a deux, and a fortiori (walk into a bar)

A CHEVAL: (Adjective / Adverb) 

My guess: This is a fancy French way of asking for a shovel. As in: Ho, ho, ho, hand me a cheval zo I can deeg zis hole.

Actual Meaning:  having a leg on each side of something, or being on both sides. This is how I am at family reunions when I casually bring up politics to see which uncle will throw the first punch. 

This is also how I gamble at roulette, betting one dollar on both red and black, thereby guaranteeing the little ball will land on zero. 

Origin: “Cheval” is French for horse. So, while in France, you can ride a cheval a cheval. 

A DEUX: ( Adjective / Adverb) 

My Guess: What a French musician says before playing: 

“A un and a deux and a -- *plays crazy French jazz*” 

Actual Meaning: involving two people in private

Example: “If that dude is a douche don’t meet with him a deux.” 

A FORTIORI: (Adjective / Adverb)

My Guess: A really, really cool tree fort. Like, the Ferrari of all forts. A Fortiori. 

Actual Meaning: Legal Latin stuff that basically translates into “from the stronger argument.” 

Example: 

“At the age of nine, Sam is still a child. A fortiori, Fred, being eight years old, is also a child.”

Does that make sense? 

Well, it’s wrong! Fred’s a middle-aged golden retriever entering his golden years, and you dead language-Latin-logisticians dare to assume he is a child???