AARDVARK:
(All right, now we’re finally getting to the good stuff! )
Noun.
An incredibly mixed-up mammal. It has ears like a donkey, a stretched-out pig snout,shovels for paws, a giant rat-like tail, and the tongue of an anteater. Even the platypus looks at the Aardvark and says: All this? Too much.
Etymology: From Afrikaans Dutch, literally means "Earth" (Aard) and "Pig" (Vark). Why not just call them varks? Why bother specifying it's from earth? There's no other kind of pig!
Oh wait...
Elementary school must be awful for the Aardvark, because they would always be called upon first during role, year in and year out, And most likely, it would be the Aardvark that sits in front of the class, sitting closest to the teacher. Such pressure. It’s no wonder Arthur the Aardvark punched his sister.
Since we’re on the subject Arthur Read (who, now that I have read that his last name is Read, I realize he wouldn’t be sitting in the front of the class -- so I don’t know why he smacked D.W…. Oh wait.. I do… It all comes back to my point!)
Even Arthur Read, the world’s most famous aardvark was self conscious about his mix-matched looks. Here is the cover of the very first Arthur Book:
In which Arthur is self-conscious about his nose, thanks to a verbally abusive chimpanzee named Francine. Poor Arthur feels so embarrassed that he contemplates plastic surgery, but ultimately decides to love his own body and accept his nose.
Except he doesn’t! Look at Arthur a few years later!
He totally had work done!
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