Most of the time I'm a very happy person. Once, a co-worker walked past me and she said, "Do you ever stop smiling?" I'm blessed in the sense that my default setting is: GOOD MOOD.
But I go through the blues, like anyone else. Typically, it's when I disappoint someone like a friend or a family member. Sometimes I have responsibilities... And sometimes I flake. I like to think I don't flake on the big things, but sometimes flaking out on a lot of little things is probably bad enough. I think that's why I like lists so much. It keeps me on task so I don't forget anything, big or small. But I'm far, far, FAR from perfect. And I sometimes let people down.
And once that happens, once I realize that I haven't lived up to expectations, that's when my smile turns upside down and becomes a frown.
My mom loves the saying, "Pick yourself up and dust yourself off." It's a good saying. Not always easy to live by. When I drop the ball, I get frustrated and angry with myself. It's sometimes difficult to think positive. Negative thoughts start to swarm, like insects to a porch light. If I fumble, I start to crumble. I sometimes let myself fall into what I call a "shame spiral."
Lucky for me, my friends and family are very forgiving. They don't let me beat myself up. They are the ones who dust me off and help me back on that horse.
P.S. I apologize for all the mixed metaphors!